Giving – Do things for others
I try to be helpful, do what I can. Whether it is helping out with practical things such as looking after a friend’s children, giving someone the clothes my boys no longer wear and lending a hand with cleaning or setting up things, or just being there to support someone through a difficult break-up, illness or a bad day; I always treat others the way I would like to be treated myself.
Relating – Connect with people
The people who matter the most to me are my family – my husband and children, my parents, siblings, nephew and niece… – and my friends.
Exercising – Take care of your body
I like to walk with the children and by myself, the ache at the end of a long walk gives me a sense of achievement and that I have done something good for myself. I like to swim, especially under water. It gives me time to think, and the water washes away all the negativity, leaving me refreshed.
Appreciating – Notice the world around
I often stop, mentally, and take notice of the beautiful things around me; when I crest a hill in my car and the view opens up before me, when I look out of the window and see that the sky is a brilliant blue, the clouds move and create shapes, or the sun shines. When my son smiles because he sees me, or has just discovered something new. The feel of clean bedding after a long day. My husband putting his arms around me, or gives me a call during the day, just to hear my voice.
Trying out – Keep learning new things
I’ve learned to reverse my car into tight parking spaces! It might seem like nothing, but having been driving for years, I always tried to avoid parking in streets with little space because I didn’t feel confident that I wouldn’t hit another car. I can park in any space that is big enough for our car now.
Direction – Have goals to look forward to
I want to be a midwife one day. In a couple of months I am going to train as a doula and start supporting women and their families through pregnancy, childbirth and beyond. Ultimately I want to gain enough experience to be accepted onto a Midwifery course at university.
Resilience – Find ways to bounce back
I often try to tell myself that “shit happens” and that things will get better again, you just need a plan of action. Be proactive.
Emotion – Take a positive approach
Focus on the good things, not the bad. Beautiful, healthy children, a lovely (if work-in-progress) house, a husband who loves and respects me. Plans for the future.
Acceptance – Be comfortable with who you are
The real “me” is honest and determined. I try to not dwell on things too much, but can’t help it sometimes. I treat others with the same respect that I would like to be treated with. I am intelligent and really quite nerdy, full of random information and knowledge. I stand up for myself and my beliefs, and those who mean the most to me. I am far from perfect, and I get caught up in myself sometimes, and then need someone to give me a little push in the right direction. I do try to keep going, through everything.
Meaning – Be part of something bigger
The things that give my life meaning are my family and my friends. The plan to become a midwife and be as good a mother to my children as I can be.
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true tales from the gates of the underworld 